Making a difference - be an ANGEL this holiday season

One of the blogs that I follow Creating My Own Little Nirvana had a post that brought tears to my eyes called "This is Katya".  Katya is a young woman who aged out of her orphanage in Siberia and is trying to make it as a young mother.  Unfortuantely this too often is the case with orphans there and it is hard knowing this could have been our own daughter V if she had not been adopted.  I am attaching a link to the story and hoping that other Angels can find it in their heart to send Katya a care package.  There are instructions on the blog on how to send the package, it is very important to list everything as USED for customs and make sure that the declared value is $25 or less total. 

Maybe together we can help make the holidays a little brighter for someone in need.
http://creatingmyownlittlenirvana.blogspot.com/2011/12/this-is-katya.html#comment-form

One Year - Where has the time gone?

One year ago we were in Biro and working hard towards getting our daughter home.  We had already been to court (Dec. 9th) and we were in our 10 day waiting period.  I am not sure where the time went, sometimes it felt like time was just dragging by, other times like it was flying.  This year has had its ups and downs, the good times, the not so good times and the times where we just had to keep moving forward.  One year later and our daughter has grown several inches, gained a few pounds, has glasses and receiving treatment so she can see, has had 14 teeth pulled and has 11 new teeth in her mouth.  Our daughter went from speaking 2 word phrases in Russian to full sentences in English.  V went from never being to school to doing 1/2 a year of Pre-K and is just finishing up her first 1/2 of the year of K.  V gets lots of therapies, speech, behavioral/developmental/art/OT and also has fun doing Russian Ballet and gymnastics.  She has gone from living in an orphanage to being part of a family with more grace and patience then most adults would have.  She has transformed from our little visitor to our daughter and we can't imagine our lives without her.   Now for the part I still had not done - Photos:

Heading back to Russia after her hosting program

With her brother in Moscow on Christmas - getting ready to go home

Our Russian Ballerina

Life is more fun with your siblings

Holiday fun after being home 1 year

Hosting families needed for summer 2011 in Chicago area and on the East Coast

Bridge of Hope (the program we hosted and adopted our daughter from) is still looking for 3 host families for this summer for 3 sibling groups.  One of the groups is a sister/brother sibling set that we met while we were there in December.  Irina and Ilya (ages 8, 7) could not be any sweeter and their one goal is to find a family together.  I have additional videos and pictures of them from our visit.  I could go on and on about Irina and Ilya and if given the opportunity would gladly tell everyone and anyone how sweet and well behaved they were.  They were also very talented dancers (I got to see a preview of a New Years show they were going to be doing).   There is also Svetlana 8 and her brother Andrei 10 and Anastasia 7 and her brother Kirill who is 5 and one of the cutest red heads you will have ever seen.  Anastasia was hosted summer but her family was unable to complete the adoption.  They list her as being happy, playful, brave, smart and well adjusted.

To find out information for any of these wonderful children, please contact Patrice Gancie (pgancie@cradlehope.org).  Time is running out for these kids to find hosts for the summer and I can say that our experience last summer was one of the best of our lives.  Our daughter is thriving at home and I can't imagine our lives without her.

Adjusting

We have been home a month, I can't believe it.  There are days where it feels like it has been much longer and other days where I would swear we just walked in the door.  The good news is we are all adjusting and most of the time it does not feel like we have a "visitor" but that V is a part of our family.  For an adoptive parent, that is a big step starting to feel like this is permanent.  For V, it will take much longer.  She has started talking about Russia all the time, it is part of most of her conversations.  I have been reminding her that this is home now, but I don't think she believes it.  She is starting to lay claim to her part in the family which makes me smile.  We are now "my mommy, my poppy, my Chase" and she has "my room" and "my boots".  There are times when she is so relaxed that I feel she has been here forever and then the scared child comes back out and I remember that although a month has gone by, that is such a small part of time in her last 5 and 1/2 years.

Remembering to Breathe

This week has been a long one of both ups and downs.  V has had her share of temper tantrums but also some cuddling and rocking.  She is finally starting to find her way around and becoming more comfortable with us.  Language is developing rapidly and she can now easily tell us which parent (mommy or Poppy) that she wants help with.  She is picking out her own clothes and starting to help out with chores.  I think we are all starting to adjust a bit to the 4th member of our family and it is starting to not feel like we have a visitor.  It is definitely going to take time as we both need to remember to give ourselves space, to cut some slack when something is lost in translation and remember to enjoy the small moments when she lets down her guard enough to be loved.

So many temper tantrums, so little time....

It has been a while since I posted last.  We have been home 2 weeks and are in the middle of a massive adjustment time (both for us and for V).  Finally have adjusted to the time changes and starting to figure out what it is like to have 2 kids at home.  We have had many dr's appointments to schedule - are up to 8 for this month - and we have our good days and not so good ones.  Yesterday started out well but went down hill after V's school evaluation.  We met with a Russian psychologist and it seemed to go well but V had a rough day afterwards.  She talked a little bit about the desky dom and spent time identifying objects, doing puzzles, etc.  I think it was tiring for her and a bit overwhelming as most things are right now.  Her first melt down was about an hour after the exam and they came pretty steadily every hour after that getting worse and longer as the day went on.  She had so many that by dinner time she was hoarse.  We did get a little reprieve right before bed time and she fell asleep pretty quickly after telling us she loved us and did not battle bed (I don't think she had any energy left).  She is in a good mood this morning and I hope that she got a pretty good night sleep.

We know this is all normal, she has had massive changes in her life and feels as if she has no control and is trying to assert it when she can.  The psychologist says there are really good signs of attachment going on and that is really good.  That will take a long time but the good thing is she trusts us enough to look to us for her care.  It is hard, sometimes I want to take her lead and throw my own temper tantrum too, I want to tell her "it is not fair, I agree" and go bury my head in my blankets and go back to bed but being a mom means we can't do that (unless DH is home, then taking a much needed break is VERY helpful).  We did a ton of research, read books, talked to other parents but until you are in the middle of it, it all seems doable, then you start to have doubts.  My doubts are not about V, but about whether or not I have what it takes to be her mom.  Can we find all of the help she needs, can I remember not to take it personally when she is throwing things at me, can I remember that she is a hurting little girl who needs more love, understanding and care than I am sometimes confident I have in me to give?  The good thing is after a good nights sleep, you remember you can do this and sometimes it just takes putting one foot in front of the other.  We won't always be in transition, we won't always be thinking of adoption and at some point in time we will be able to just be a family for a bit.